alrite. juz for ur information. i m still alive. n kicking. yes. u didnt read that wrongly. hahaz. fine. enough of my crapping. i know pple who stumble upon this isolate blog will wanna noe more abt my ----- (fill up e dashes with your own words) life and i am going to grant your wish! hahaz. be prepared for a supreme long post since i finally find the time to sit down n type.

first of all. is my undergraduate education. i hav alrdy received all (or almost all) e letters frm the universities tt i had applied to. whether local or overseas. n i sorta had made my decision. ok lahz. not sorta but confirmed plus chopped (guaranteed) that i will be studyin in singapore and i will be taking up e offer in...NTU! tata! now now. e qn is why, rite? let me give u a breakdown of my thinking process and u may give mi ur opinions using the function of e tag board on the bottom rite hand side of this page :)

reason no 1. i hav no money
simple n clear cut. i do not possess the financial options of goin overseas. true. i was abit deceiving myself for sum time (actuallie for a long while. frm my dreams of studying med overseas since sec sch to recent daes of studying hotel management overseas). n i hav finally woken up to e reality tt is not goin to happen no matter wat. even if i buy toto rite now. coz my chances of winning is almost non existent. or else how can singapore pools earn so much rite? but i muz sae those dreams r reallie beautiful n full of promise. but in this world. promise without money equal to no hope. n tata! tt dream(s) shattered rite b4 my eyes when i finally accepted the fact tt i m not going to receive ani letter frm NUS informing mi to go for e essay test or interview.

to those pple out there who may be (u betta be or else...) feeling reallie bad abt taking up e place in e shortlisting process for NUS Med n depriving mi of a place. dun worry i dun reallie hate/blame u all. coz no 1. i can blame no one except myself for not studying. even when it's A levels. sighz. i guess it's juz me lahz. it's reallie juz me. eva since i started goin to sch. i cannt remember a single time when i mugged reallie hard for an exam except for A maths in O levels. tt's e one n onli time. becoz my dismayed grade during prelims (as compared to my luved genius class) was e onli insult i m willing to accept in my life then. but i guess i m juz not suited for e environment rj offers. n as quite alot of things happened to me e past 2 yrs. i sorta didnt managed to find e motivation to study hard. not even one tiny bit of it. reallie. i was happie sorta to slack my time awae. or perhaps i was juz too tired to care lahz. but i m glad tt i went thru tt phrase in my life. becoz now i understand e importance of working hard to achieve wat u wan. yupz. so 2 my dear frenz out there i thanked u all for all e scoldings u hav given me in e past yrs esp during nanyang daes (n it wun hurt to scold mi in future if u c mi slackin ok? :D)

in rj i felt pretti much alone. even when i noe tt my grades r reallie dismayed. i juz dun find e need/urge to work harder n push everyting up. in short. i juz sorta gave up lahz. literally. yee ke-ow can testify to tt. when i sae i dun study. i dun. i mean wat i sae. i do. even up till A levels i was still like tt. i guess e moment onli dawned on mi when i get back results. hahaz. n rite at tt moment. i sorta understand tt i wun make it. wun make it to med at NUS...perhaps tt's y i cried then. i cried finished all my tears then. tt's y now i juz sae "oh" n moved on. it's like history repeating itself. coz when i fractured my pinkie back then n was informed tt i need to go for op. i cried like mad. simply becoz i know rite at tt pt of time. i would nv make it to SYF. nv.

so back to topic. reason no 2. why i m studying in NTU is becoz it's e onli local university tt offers sumting related to hotel management. yes. i noe i can go for double degree at SMU (business+accountancy) but i didnt becoz i onli want hotel management. truthfully speaking. e course structure in NTU is reallie not my cup of tea. but since i cant go overseas i hav to make do w it. e prob w e course structure is tt i onli specialised in my 2nd yr. in other words. whether i get into my desired speciality will depend onli one my first yr's grades. which is rather risky. coz i dun hav ani idea wat one study in a business course. how can i be sure tt i will do well even if i work hard? i would hav preferred e course to be structure in such a wae so tt i can go into hotel management speciality straightawae. but too bad. tt's not going to happen. 2nd prob w e prog is tt e industry placement period is wae too short! it's onli 10 wks. like how much can u learn abt tt industry in tt short period? but since i cant afford to go overseas. there is no need for animore discussion.

n tt settled. i shall tok abt e direction of my life now. in short. i hav alrdy chosen my path for e next 3 yrs at least. i will be cooped up in NTU mugging for my business degree. wat will come after tt? hmmz. i like to think. perhaps i m tinking wae too much. but i guess it doesnt hurt to hav a rough sketch in ur mind rite?

since i m aiming to go into e hotel industry n w e IRs coming up n global tourism gearing up for more growth. i guess i shld be able to find a job somehow when i graduate. hopefully. after working for a couple of yrs. i shld earn abit of money n maybe. when i suddenly hav e urge or i feel tt it's time. i will go study graduate med sch. but tt's a big IF. b4 u discard this as something aniwan will do becoz they cant hav their wae in their life. let mi juz sae tt i get this idea frm a gd fren. she luved kids n animals. so after her undergraduate studies. she became a teacher. n taught for a couple of yrs. b4 leaving her teaching career to pursue a degree in veterinary science in Aust. n she is doing her masters now. since she has e courage to pursue both dreams. i dun c why i cant. beside e money part. but if i work hard enough n long enough. i m confident i would be able to raise enough money. plus secure a bank loan. n who knows. i might find sumwan who is willing to support mi in my studies. hahaz. med is a life long career. i shld try other things b4 i tied myself down to it. if i still wanna in e later part of my life. :D

so tt's all for my life direction at e moment. hahaz. now. i shall elaborate on my work. literally.

in short. i m going to be retrenched. yes. FIRED. sighz. sad life manz. i onli worked for a mth plus n i m going to be retrenched. i feel so... oh well. nvm. at least i met pple who r great n nice n i reallie enjoyed spending time w them esp my team n our dearest mummy who is in fact. our supervisior. hahaz. will be posting e photos soon. provided i find e urge to go n upload them. for ur info. i still hav my prom photos in my cam. hahaz. can c how lazy i m lahz. heez.

so now i m searching for a job. to my peers. if u hav ani lobang. pls contact mi horz! n to my juniors. if u noe of aniwan in need of a tuition teacher (onli at sec sch level) pls inform mi. e onli subj i dun teach -- English. yupz. i m sure u all noe why. hahaz.

n finally. i shall tok abt ipho2006 (International Physics Olympiad 2006). for those uninformed. i m e volunteer who will be taking care of ...CROATIA for 10 daes frm 8 to 17 July 2006 when e team is in singapore for e competition. now u noe where my msn nickname came frm. hahaz. apparently e organising committee is worried tt they dun speak eng so i m supposed to pick up simple CROATIAN frm now till they arrived in singapore. but e prob is. i hav no idea where to find a CROATIAN native speaker! so help mi pls! if u r frm CROATIA, or u know of aniwan frm CROATIA pls contact mi. i would reallie reallie appreciate it. in e meanwhile. i shall mugged e history of CROATIA. had a ''tour'' of some sort of Chinatown on sat. but i muz sae tt it's quite sianz lahz. most of e tings we alrdy noe. hahaz. it's quite sad tt they wun be visitin Little India since it so much more 'heritage looking' than Chinatown. but too bad. Little India is wae too small to tolerate e presence of 150 pple at one go (excluding non ipho pple). sighz. but i m reallie quite looking forward to e event! can u imagine? i didnt even noe where e country is until i went to check it out! n now i m meetin e pple! wow! hopefully i can persuade other volunteers to introduce their teams to me...then i can make more frenz!!! wooho! making frenz frm all over e world. *beams*

alrite. tt's all for now. take care of urself pple! Muackz!

i believe in miracles becoz i would be much happier if i do @ 7:16 pm