e race to death and freedom is on.

in case you don't know what i am talking about (because you don't have imagination/you were never a slacker/your last education took place trillion of years ago/you don't understand english/or you feel that my vocabulary cannot make it) my examinations have officially begin today at 1pm sharp.

from then till 30 april, 11 am. i would be fighting for my survival, my future, my career and my honour. hahahaz. ok that sounds really crappy. aiyahz. i am supreme sianz lahz in short. because as usual. yours truly here. is taking every single opportunity to slack and not study. seriously.

i can't study at home because of the presence of SCV! urghz! i spent 3 days at home watching discovery channel (which is supreme educating, enriching and interesting, but does not aid me in my exams) and other chinese entertainment channels...i am seriously hopeless. sighz.

i don't find the motivation to study. it's like i don't really care about the specialisation that i am going to liao. i don't bother to consider first class, 2nd upper, 2nd lower or even honours at all. i am just plainly in the 'heck care' mode...until yee keow told me her good news.

it was right at that moment that i realised that i need to care. i must care. because if i don't do well now. i would never be able to fulfill that dream at all.

there are times. when i am alone staring into space. that this question will come back to haunt me. will i have make a different choice if i am given a second chance? but every time i just can't seem to answer that question. no matter how hard i try.

i know that by making this choice a year ago, in a way, i have decided my life path. i have done precisely what i believed. when one door closed/slammed in your face, another one will open for you. i left that closed door and open another door. but should i have stayed at that closed door and knock again and again? or find means to open it e.g. with magic words etc?

but i guess i lacked the courage that yee keow possessed. and i can't bear the pressure from others especially my family. so maybe...it's much simpler than i think.

but just want to wish yee keow all the best because you will always have my support girl! i pass you my luck if required and remember that you are completing our dreams! jia you!

back to depressing topic. my accounting exam is pretty dead lahz. first of all, i only started to study for it yesterday when i came back to hall. and though i tried very hard to balance my cash flow statement...i failed to do so lahz.

and as usual if i don't do anything silly or stupid, i will not be myself. i was planning to go to the washroom after finishing my paper. but just as i want to raise my hand to ask for permission in the examination hall. the examiner announced that we are left with 15 mins to the end of the paper. which is to say. i can't leave the hall! so i had to wait for another half an hour before i can leave the hall to go to the washroom.

and because i was in such agony. i couldn't think for the last 15 mins of the paper. thus obviously, i didn't write anything or make any improvements to my answers. it's supreme nuax lahz. sighz. i am just plain hopeless.

next paper is IT on thursday 3pm. i don't even know how to study for this paper lahz. sighz. the most nuax computer dummy has to pass her IT!!! arghz!

and my exchange is giving me alot of headache. i shall complain next time (after exams).

i believe in miracles becoz i would be much happier if i do @ 9:21 pm