I haven cry like this since...

the day i realised that i was not able to go to Italy (Bocconni University) via INSTEP becoz i failed to get the scholarship that will subsidise my expenses there

the day when i realised that my finger is fractured and that i would not be able to play for SYF after struggling to learn bassoon by myself for a year in j2

and maybe on the day i received my a levels and realised that i wouldn't be able to get into medicine

that is if you exclude all the times i cried becoz of watching sad movies and shows.

and today. i actually cried nearly 1 hour. amazing feat truly.

maybe becoz i felt real sorry for myself. becoz despite all my efforts in chasing other people. my fyp still ended up in its current state. dead.

maybe becoz i m angry with myself. becoz despite all i had done. it's juz not enough.

maybe becoz i m juz tired. tired of being the one doing almost all the things.

i guess when you laugh long enough. you may forget how to cry. or other people may forget that you do cry.

i know it will get better. and i know i will be me again tomorrow. but just tonight. let me be that somewan else. that sumwan else that had been hiding inside all this while.

i believe in miracles becoz i would be much happier if i do @ 11:48 am