i went on a photo expedition today, armed with a super professional looking and heavy tripod and of course, the star. the antique film slr...i was at redhill, the place where i spent two months volunteering with youth challenge after a levels. the place where i wondered did i make a difference to all the elderly who lived in those one room flats.

it brought back questions on what have i done these 3 years? and did i drift away from what i set out to achieve 3 years ago?

the elderly were really frenly...and lonely. and i met this old man who is 97 years old this year...and he was a very accomplished photographer and painter. he kept on telling me that life is short and to be happy and content always.

and i did super real stupid and typical estella-ish. i changed my roll of film after lunch...and intelligently left that completed roll of film on the stool in the hawker centre and walked away. i didnt realised until 1 hour later...and by then it has disappeared into one of the numerous dustbins.

all my effort is gone! including some really not bad shots. i was super depressed. sighz. now i have to buy a new roll of film and retake the shots. =(

but i must thanx tham2 and adrian for accompanying me today for the bukit timah stretch. especially tham2 who accompanied me to feed the mosquitoes at the railway track in bukit timah and for driving me around. =)

and i finally submitted my fyp first draft. i spent 4 days typing 49 pages and 9000 plus words. yet i had to suffer injustice yet again. every time. every time i have to do fyp. there is drama. seriously. i feel like telling her. can you please be fair to me for once? can you please act responsibly for once? can you please treat me with respect for once?

one thing for sure. after the submission. i do not want to have anything to do with her anymore. she has proved to be unworthy of being my friend. unworthy of my attention. unworthy of a mention in my life from now on.

i am such a weakling. i avoid confrontations at all costs. sighz.

and i have set my mind to study medicine le. nus-duke. if not...like wat ah keow say. i can always fall back on nus medicine...just that i will be real old as compared to my peers.

it's time to stop thinking about what other pple is doing and what about me as compared to them.

i am different, according to some people. you know who you are. and thank you for believing in me. perhaps i am really different. perhaps you are too... =)

i believe in miracles becoz i would be much happier if i do @ 10:18 pm